Daily Masks: What Are Your Values?
“A value is a way of being or believing that you hold most important.” — Brené Brown
Most companies have mission statements that summarize their values and founding principles: integrity, service, growth, customers, quality. They invest time and resources to create statements that define their culture.
So why don’t we create our own?
Years ago, a coach encouraged me to write a personal mission statement. I came up with this:
Committed to partnering with you to create the life in which you evolve into the person you were created to be so you can thrive regardless of the circumstances around you.
My brother—the marketing guru—called it “a mouthful.” He wasn’t wrong. But the exercise was powerful. I even made a spreadsheet (nerd alert) to see which of my projects aligned with that statement. Out of twelve opportunities, only six fit. That clarity helped me see what fueled me instead of what drained me.
I didn’t end up using the statement publicly, but it changed how I approached choices and priorities.
From Mission Statement to Core Values
Fast forward to my facilitator training for Brené Brown’s The Daring Way™. I was asked to identify my top three values.
Mine: Faith. Authenticity. Respect.
Different from my mission statement, more direct, and absolutely the foundation of how I try to live each day. Note the word “try.” Staying true to who you are is a daily choice—a choice to lay aside the mask and be seen. Some days I succeed. Other days I don’t. The important part is showing up and trying again.
How to Find Your Top 2–3 Values
When you think of personal values, the list is endless. Many may resonate, but your core values are the handful that, if lost, would shake you at your core.
A simple way to find them:
Start broad and circle everything that sparks a yes.
Group related values (like honesty, integrity, and truth).
Narrow to your top 2–3 that feel non-negotiable.
Pressure-test them: Would losing this value change who I am? Does it guide my decisions when no one is watching?
Why Values Matter in a Series About Masks
Your core values define who you are behind the mask. When all the external layers fall away, your values are what remain. Without them, identity gets slippery and circumstances start dictating who you become. With them, your identity has a backbone.
Your Story, Your Lessons
Maybe you’ve been reflecting on failures or challenges and noticed the cracks those experiences left behind. Those cracks are often where values take root. We don’t have to love our struggles to learn from them.
A crisis, by definition, is “a time of intense difficulty or danger—a time when an important decision must be made.” Values steady you through those decisions. They keep you grounded so you can be shaken but not broken.
A Gentle Challenge: Create Your Core Values
Grab a journal or notebook and try this exercise:
List 15–20 values that resonate.
Narrow them to 5, then 3, then 2.
Define each one in your own words.
Add a behavior cue: “When I live this value, I…; when I’m off-track, I notice I…”
Example:
Authenticity: I tell the truth about my experience with kindness, even when it’s uncomfortable. Off-track: I hide, people-please, or overexplain.
Respect: I honor my boundaries and others’ by saying yes and no clearly. Off-track: I overcommit or expect others to read my mind.
Values are lived, not laminated. Revisit them regularly and let them evolve as you do.
Being known for who you uniquely are at the core is a freeing experience. It takes bravery and vulnerability, but it’s absolutely possible.
Always remember to take care of you. You are worth it.
If perfectionism makes it hard to choose or live your values, my free Perfectionism Workbook can help you identify triggers, reframe your thinking, and take compassionate action.
If you’re ready to dig deeper into your story and start showing up as your most authentic self, therapy can help.
I offer online therapy for helping professionals, busy professionals, and therapists who are ready to reconnect with their worth and live with greater balance and clarity.
Learn more about online therapy with Melissa Russiano or schedule a free consultation to see if we’re a good fit.
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