Daily Masks: Overcoming Shame
When planning a return to weekly blogging, I never imagined we’d live in a world where staying home would be enforced.
Now we’re navigating shortages of everyday essentials and learning how to adapt to a new normal — one that includes curbside pickup, delivery apps, and mandatory face masks. Inside our homes, we’ve learned how to manage boredom, juggle work-life balance, and find connection through a screen.
Honestly, the words “social distancing” are two I hope never to hear again. But even through that disconnection, we’ve discovered new ways to connect — sometimes awkwardly, sometimes beautifully — through technology and laughter.
If my daughter wouldn’t disown me, I’d share the photo from my recent curbside pickup adventure. Picture this: a black baseball cap, a mask with sci-fi-worthy vents, and the realization that I couldn’t drink my water through it. I laughed at the ridiculousness of it all — and maybe you’ve had those moments too. Life feels surreal, but we’re doing our best. Together, we’ll make it through.
Wearing a Mask Has Taken on a New Meaning
Before the pandemic, I used the word “mask” as a metaphor for the fake faces we wear to hide our real emotions. But now, it has taken on a deeper significance.
My focus has always been on encouraging people to take off their emotional masks — to show the good, the bad, and the beautifully imperfect. To allow themselves to be seen for who they truly are. Outside of public health reasons, most of us wear masks to cover our shame, failures, imperfections, or even our dreams.
Each of these layers deserves attention, and my hope is that through reflection, we can begin to gently remove the emotional masks that keep us from being known, even if we still have to wear the physical ones in public.
Masks Help Us Hide Feelings of Shame
So often, shame is the emotion we’re trying hardest to hide. Most people describe it as embarrassment — the fear of being judged, misunderstood, or rejected.
If I wrote a list of everything I’ve ever been embarrassed about, we’d be here a long time. And yes, some of those moments still carry a bit of shame. But I’ve learned that feeling shame and being defined by shame are two very different things.
As Brené Brown beautifully says:
“Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior. Shame is ‘I am bad.’ Guilt is ‘I did something bad.’”
When shame defines who we are, it limits everything — the relationships we choose, the careers we pursue, and the adventures we take. It convinces us to settle for less than we deserve. And before we know it, we’re stuck in the exhausting loop of the shame spiral.
When You Put on Your Mask This Week, Let It Be a Reminder
Physical masks are uncomfortable — they’re hot, restrictive, and, in my opinion, a little bizarre. Emotional masks are even heavier. We cling to them, even when they drain our energy or keep us from connection.
As you wear your physical mask, let it be a tangible reminder to reflect on your emotional one. What are you hiding behind it? What pain, fear, or self-judgment stays tucked behind your practiced smile?
You may be surprised by what surfaces.
What’s Written Inside Your Mask?
If you could write on the inside of your mask, what would it say? For many of us, that word might be shame — while the outside shows a smile and composure.
Here’s your gentle challenge:
Take a piece of paper and write what’s inside your mask. What are you hiding from the world? From the people closest to you? From yourself?
Awareness is the first step toward freedom.
We all wear masks for different reasons — sometimes for safety, sometimes for comfort. But the real work is discovering why they’re there… and what happens when we start to take them off.
It won’t be easy. It may be uncomfortable. But it’s worth it. Because being known for who you truly are — the messy, magnificent whole of you — is one of the most freeing experiences there is.
Always remember to take care of you.
You are worth it.
Grab the free Perfectionism Workbook, which helps you untangle your self-worth from your to-do list and finally breathe again.
If you’re ready to dig deeper into your story and start showing up as your most authentic self, therapy can help.
I offer online therapy for helping professionals, busy professionals, and therapists who are ready to reconnect with their worth and live with greater balance and clarity.
Learn more about online therapy with Melissa Russiano or schedule a free consultation to see if we’re a good fit.
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