Wine, Margaritas, and the Messy Truth About Being Human
“Anyone you have in your mind as an icon is an imperfect, flawed creature, just like all humans on the planet.”
— Tim Ferriss
My new podcast, BEYOND THE SMILE: Real Talk with Real People, has brought up some familiar themes — including imposter syndrome — so it felt natural to revisit them here. A brilliant digital marketing mind suggested it, but it makes perfect sense. Aligning the message across platforms keeps the conversation authentic… and let's be honest, authenticity is kind of my thing.
This week’s episode was with someone who knows me better than most: my friend, my neighbor, and the keeper of many of my stories — the funny, the painful, and the “hide the evidence” ones. She’s been with me through heartbreak, career pivots, parenting meltdowns, and countless evenings in the hot tub with wine or by the pool with margaritas. Our shenanigans have slowed over the years (life will do that), but the friendship hasn’t faded.
Two topics surfaced in our conversation that I want to bring here: perfectionism and parenting.
The Myth of the Perfect Clinician
My friend used to write ten-page progress notes.
Yes. Ten. Pages.
It was how she was trained, but those early days of transitioning into private practice were tough. I still remember “reviewing” her notes (HIPAA compliant, of course) and approving a few paragraphs — much to her horror.
That triggered her perfectionism.
Not perfection in grammar…
Perfection in protecting clients, meeting standards, and not missing anything.
But here’s the truth:
Clinicians are masters at empowering clients to release pressure — but we hold ourselves to impossible standards.
We want:
Perfect notes
Perfect reports
Perfect assessments
Perfect documentation
Perfect outcomes
And when we fear we won’t meet that standard, procrastination steps in.
“I’ll do it when I can make it perfect.”
Before long, notes pile up. Reports get delayed. Stress increases.
The reality?
Notes do not need to be novels.
They need to be clear, accurate, timely, and reflective of the work done — nothing more.
Letting go of perfection doesn’t diminish professionalism.
It simply frees up emotional energy so you can actually do the work instead of fear it.
Parenting — The Universal Humbling Experience
If we’re being honest (and we always are here), parenting can be overrated at times.
I adore my daughter.
And parenting an adult child who is figuring out life, independence, boundaries, and identity is… exhausting.
My friend and I have spent evenings laughing, crying, venting, and sharing survival strategies. Then we go to work the next morning and show up fully—smiling, steady, grounded—for our clients.
It’s what we do as clinicians.
It’s called boundaries.
And it’s a good thing.
But the disconnect arrives late at night, whispering:
“How can I help everyone else but not my own kid?”
Because we are human.
And our kids are human.
They get to make choices — smart ones and less-than-smart ones — just as we did.
Your profession does not exempt you from struggle.
Trust me, I’ve looked for the loophole. It doesn’t exist.
Connection Keeps Us Grounded
I’m lucky to have:
A neighbor who walks with me, talks with me, and occasionally hands me wine
A friend group scattered across the country who shows up consistently
A community of clinicians who lean on each other
I know not everyone has that.
Which is why it’s so important to say this out loud:
You are not alone in your struggles.
Nothing you’re feeling is unusual.
Nothing you’re carrying is a sign of inadequacy.
Sometimes you need informal support — friends, neighbors, and hot tub therapy.
And sometimes you need formal support — a therapist or coach who can help you take the steps you already know you want to take.
You deserve support too.
If perfectionism or imposter syndrome is weighing you down, the Perfectionism Workbook can help you uncover the beliefs behind the pressure and build healthier, more compassionate patterns.
If you’re ready to dig deeper into your story and start showing up as your most authentic self, therapy can help.
I offer online therapy for helping professionals, busy professionals, and therapists who are ready to reconnect with their worth and live with greater balance and clarity.
Learn more about online therapy with Melissa Russiano or schedule a free consultation to see if we’re a good fit.
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