Pruning Exhaustion

“It takes courage to say yes to play and rest in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol.”
— Brené Brown

Lately, one of the most common themes I hear from clients (and colleagues) is exhaustion. Tired of remote work. Tired of uncertainty. Tired of the constant pressure to keep going.

While exhaustion can be a symptom of depression or burnout, sometimes it’s simply that — tired.

We all have stress — sometimes more, sometimes less. But when stress and exhaustion overlap, we start to lose our sense of control.

When that happens, our emergency response system kicks in, flooding the body with adrenaline — our built-in stimulant. It keeps us on alert for the next crisis, but it also drains serotonin, the brain’s natural mood stabilizer. So when another unexpected challenge arises (like, say, a global pandemic), we’re already running on empty — just when we need a full tank of energy and clarity most.

Wonder Why You’re Exhausted?

Your body can only handle so much adrenaline and cortisol before it says, “Not today. I’m done. I need a nap.”

Sound familiar?

Physical exhaustion leads to emotional exhaustion, which leads to even more physical exhaustion. It’s a relentless cycle.

Recently, I started reading Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud (highly recommend). I’ll be honest — I’m not a natural reader these days. Sleep tends to win that battle! Thankfully, Audible saved me, and I spent a day floating in a pool listening.

What I didn’t expect was how much this book reframed my understanding of exhaustion — both for myself and for my clients.

Even though I’m far from a green thumb (I’ve been known to thank plants for “bringing me joy” as I toss them out), Dr. Cloud’s analogy of pruning struck me.

The Three Reasons We Need to Prune

According to Dr. Cloud, there are three main reasons a gardener prunes a plant. And, surprisingly, all three apply to our lives too.

1. When the Bush Produces More Buds Than It Can Sustain

Sometimes bigger isn’t better. When a plant produces too many buds, it stretches its resources too thin — nothing thrives.

Our lives are the same. We fill our schedules with good things — commitments, projects, relationships — until we’re stretched beyond capacity. Nothing gets our full attention, and we end up surviving, not thriving.

2. When the Bush Has Sick Branches That Won’t Get Well

I remember a summer when Japanese beetles attacked every rose bush I owned. No matter what I did, the leaves looked pathetic and diseased. It wasn’t until I pruned the damaged areas that the plant could recover.

The same goes for us. We hang onto toxic habits, overextend ourselves, and cling to commitments that drain us emotionally or physically. These “sick branches” keep us from growing. Sometimes, the healthiest thing we can do is grab the shears and let go.

3. When There Are Dead Branches Taking Up Space

Let’s be honest — not everything we start will survive.

Sometimes, we need to step back, take a breath, learn the lesson, and embrace the ending.

Just like in a garden, some parts of our lives run their course. When we release what’s no longer working, we make room for what’s meant to bloom next.

Why Endings Feel So Hard

Pruning — whether in a garden or in life — is painful because it requires change.

Try this exercise:

Stand in front of a mirror and be honest with yourself. What does your current situation feel like?

Sense it. Feel it. Smell it. Picture it playing out.

Now imagine living in those same emotions two or three years from now.

If that thought feels unbearable, it’s time to prune.

Your current exhaustion won’t magically disappear after a good night’s sleep or a vacation. Real rest comes from releasing what’s draining you — not just recovering from it.

Choosing Rest Over Exhaustion

You don’t have to embrace a culture that glorifies exhaustion as proof of worth. Even in uncertain times, there’s another way.

You can rest without guilt. You can say no without apology. You can prune what’s no longer life-giving and choose to thrive again.

We’re in this together — learning, growing, and reminding each other that exhaustion doesn’t have to be the badge we wear to prove we’re enough.

Always remember to take care of you. You are worth it.

If you’re ready to release what’s no longer serving you, my free Perfectionism Workbook includes exercises to help you rediscover balance and let go with grace.

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